I had a Wonka Bar today. It was actually kind of disappointing. Imagine a Nestle Crunch Bar. Now imagine aforementioned delight sans the good taste. And now you have a Wonka Bar. It's not that it's really bad, it's just the Wonka wasn't as good as the movie would have you think. Meh. And it cost me a dollar and a half. Aw well.

I had a brilliant entry in my head but I got distracted. Fook it.

"And thank you for the nicest smile I've seen all day."

With smooth talk like that, how could I not say yes? Score one for the Narzack.

Since you've been gone
Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil
Since you've been gone
It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil
Oh well, I'm feelin like I stuck my hand
Inside a blender and turned it on
You know, I've been in a buttload of pain
Since you've been gone

(Since you've been gone)
I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped
A two-ton bowling ball on my toes
(Since you've been gone)
It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved
A red-hot cactus up my nose

Since you've been gone
Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day
Since you've been gone
It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away
Ever since that day you left me
I've been so miserable, my dear
I feel almost as bad as I did
When you were still here

Alright, this is a long time coming, but I must finally speak out.

Jeepers Creepers.

I hate this movie.  I do indeed hate it so much.  But Narzack, why do you hate it so virulently?  So glad you asked.  Disappointment is the key word.  Not even my recent Willy Wonka debacle can compare with the soul rending agony and pain this movie caused me.  As I have remarked to my good buddy Cheese, in recent years the horror genre has been experiencing a rebirth.  After The Ring hit, people began to see that the once bastard child of American cinema had real potential.  Unfortunately, that potential actually came from a Japanese novel and film, but that's beside the point.

Before the Naomi Watts thriller, a little number called Jeepers Creepers slinked into theaters.  It met with moderate success and quietly left.  A friend of mine had the movie and recommended that I, a horror dork, take a look at it.  I sat down to watch it, and from the first frame, I was hooked.  The mood, the tension, the atmosphere.  It was incredible.  I remember getting so excited with this film, maybe this is it!  Maybe this is the movie that will shatter all expectations of horror in the mainstream mindset.  And for the first half of the movie. . . I was incredibly impressed.  But then, out of nowhere something happened.  It's like halfway through production, some other guy got ahold of the film and tried to make another Jason Vorhees out of the Creeper.  And I was incensed.  There's  a very tangible moment in the film where it completely changes direction and mood.  When it goes from being amazing to being less than medicore.  And my sorrow was great.  I finished the movie in a bitter rage, wounded deeply by the disappointment.

It went from being awesome, to being a stupid monster movie.  And I've never forgiven it.

Good gracious, freeloaders complain alot.

I watched that entire episode of Fear Factor, just to see Masumi lose.  LAME.