Update
Just thinking about how awesome Duke Nukem is has had me roid-raging in awesomeness for the last two days. I've been listening to Grabbag non-stop and getting so pumped that I mighty booted a hole through my wall and in the my neighbor's stomach. She was screaming and there was blood everywhere and I took her TV remote. Then, I headbutted my door down and went screaming into the night. A bunch of homeless commandos tried to start with me, so I pulled one of their lungs out and stuffed it down the other guys's through. I stuck my hand in the other guy's eyehole and pulled his brain out. 203. I was covered in blood and awesome and 203 and I couldn't even take it. So, I high jumped up to the moon and punched some aliens in the balls. But they started shooting at me. So, I was like, screw you guys. I picked up the Earth and slammed it on their craniums. They apologized. I was like, shut up, butthole. A cruiser filled with a bunch of penisfaced poopoo heads started shooting at me. I wasn't even gonna take that, so I piled up all the dead bodies I'd made and climbed my way up to the bridge. I mighty booted a hole in their bridge and they all started getting sucked out and dying and crap and that's not cool. 203. So, I punched all their heads off as they flew past me into the void. So's that space wouldn't take my kills. Cuz, that's not cool. Duke Nukem came up to me and was all, You kick balls. Leave some kills for me.
And I was like, My bad.