It's on - Totalitarian Vegetables

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September 18, 2003

It's on

So, apparently some induhviduals believe that they can vanquish my gang. Not so, young ones. First off, my gang of hot nekkid chicks will seduce your monkeys and various other minions. Then, Fallopian Hate will brutally murder my gang, your gang, and devour any monkeys left. Stained in the blood of many nekkid women, she will then come after the gang leaders. There will be no escape. I'll be out of the country by then, so I'll survive for a bit. But, she'll find me as well. And probably slay me with extreme vengeance.

Man, I guess the real winner is Fallopian Hate.

Posted by Narzack on September 18, 2003 at 08:27 PM | 56 Dropkicked

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 12:32 PM

You all fail to account for the wildcard that is Fallopian Hate. There is no escape from her. As to the videogames, bah. My only competition would be Matto. And that's only if we play Perfect Dark. Bring it on.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:11 PM

wild card? bah! I will rely on tito's flying gay monkeys to carry her away. Preferably to somewhere far away. With the monkeys and the wild card gone you will be nothing! nothing!!! Much like you are in video games. I could crush you in mohaa of bf1942 and apparently you're no good on a console anymore either.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:19 PM

Mohaa, sure. BF, not happening, brah. Console? You are weak minded, fool! Do not ever doubt my gaming skills. As for the wild card, as stated earlier, not even gay monkeys are safe from her predations.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:30 PM

you think you're so cool, but I've got a newsflash for you walter cronkite...you aren't. And I'm not yer brah. Hm...if I mutate tito's gay flying monkeys with richard simmons and ben affleck i might be able to create a creature gay enough to withstand fallopianhate's wiles.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:33 PM

Mother. . .of. . .God. . . . You will send me into a rage such as never before been witnessed. Satan himself will cower before my fury. If you do such a thing, I will cover all the the lands in a second. . .bloodfall. .. . I. Am. Death.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:45 PM

I don't know if you'd have time to "cover the world in a second blood fall", as you'd be too busy hitting on my mutated creation. Then, the gang of nekkid chiks would be mine!!

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 02:59 PM

WILL NOT HAPPEN!!! KILL!!!!!

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Comment posted on September 20th, 2003 at 03:04 PM

The mention of the Afflicted One in front of Kyle causes spontaneous rage. I already fear for his campus (The Afflicted One's name I cannot say, but it rhymes with Ten Baffleck).

Also, you cannot have samurai monkies who are also ninja. They would all kill themselves. Samurai hate ninja, ninja hate samurai. Such is the way of things.

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Comment posted on September 20th, 2003 at 03:49 PM

It is narzack's secret love of the Affleck that drives him to such madness. I remember he broke down one night and admitted it was so. Narzack is drawn to the Affleck but at the same time hates him for having such a hypnotic effect on him. It is these dual emotion that drive Narzack to his spontaneous rage, because he cannot control his own emotions.

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fallopianhate

Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 11:29 AM

I R TEH WIN!

Also: The video game idea sounds good to me, and as for the monkeys being gay, statistically, I've been hit on in a serious fashion by a higher percentage of gay men than straight men.

So there is no escape.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:16 AM

My monkeys rule all. You know it. They can even fly.

Come on, Evil Flying Monkeys will rule all. And they can't be tempted by your hot nekkid women because all of my monkeys are gay. They're cheaper to maintain. Gay monkeys are very clean.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:24 PM

Ah, they'll be too busy having gay monkey love and worrying about how they look to pose any real threat to my power.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 07:57 PM

My monkeys wont have gay sex until break time. I've programmed them to do that. They are unstoppable.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 07:58 PM

Clever. . . However, they will still spend alot of time worrying about how they look.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:14 PM

Once again, I am ahead of you. They wont care how they look because they are all naked.

Naked Gay Flying Monkeys.

Get some.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:39 PM

Aha, but the inclement weather will freeze their genitals.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:41 PM

If that happens, then your naked women wont do anything either. Naked women cant survive in the cold. Its a given.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:42 PM

Not to worry, I will be keeping them warm.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:44 PM

Gay Monkey balls never freeze. They're always playing with something when not in battle.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:46 PM

What are you talking about, Gay Monkey Balls(tm) never freeze? A dudes(gay or not) boys are very sensitive. The slightest breath can cause excruciating pain.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:48 PM

They cant freeze if the monkeys constantly try and warm them up.

Even still, if we had to fight in conditions like that, what kind of a monkey army leader would I be if I didnt provide my gay monkeys with some type of ball protector? Not a very good one.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:50 PM

Hm. . .point taken. However, any sort of testicular protection would invariably result in a loss of agility. Which is lethal.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:53 PM

That, my friend, is very true.

Good thing all my naked gay flying monkeys are all trained under ninjitsu and were all former samurai of old japan. They were preserved in ice before I thawed them out.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:54 PM

Baha! They will not be prepared to combat a foe with hundreds of years of technology and skill greater than theirs. Add that to the inevitable contraction of many modern day pathogens, and your monkeys are toast. Fallopian won't even have to eat them

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:56 PM

pffff, everyone knows that modern technology cannot beat ninjas. you may think your machines can defeat us, but think again.

We will rise!

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:57 PM

There is no chance of that. I think that War of the Worlds set a precedent here.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 09:59 PM

I dont think they dealt with Gay Naked Flying Ninja/Samurai Monkeys.

It's a threat that is new to all. I've been secretly training them to be all they can be.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:01 PM

I'll sneeze on them, hence, they will contract my cold. Their puny ancient immune system will have no defense against it. Victory.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:03 PM

I'll have sex with your naked women. Then they'll leave you and join my monkey army.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:04 PM

Little do you know that by doing so you will not only contract hundreds of disgusting STDs but also be distracted, leaving you an easy target for the wildcard.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:06 PM

Wildcard?

And of course I will practice safe sex. I'll pack on the condoms. Or maybe I wont even have sex with them. I'll just use the titodavy charm on them and they will willingly join my unstoppable force.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:07 PM

The wildcard being Fallopian Hate. You cannot escape her. And besides, my nekkid women are masters in the dangerous art of seduction. You trying to seduce them would be like Van Damme trying to beat up Bruce Lee.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:09 PM

Your underestimating my skillz.

I'm an Incubus and your women dont stand a chance.

And I have a counter for your wildcard. It's Jaymee. She's untouchable.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:30 PM

Kevin Nealon was, as I recall, the gent who did WU right before Norm did. And. He. Is. A. Genius

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:10 PM

Impossible. Jaymee would never do a thing like that. Her purity would not permit her.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:15 PM

I'm telling you, my powers are too great to be measured or understood completely.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:16 PM

That's not true at all. You could not possibly comprehend my power with your puny human ken.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:17 PM

pfff your just copying my phrase.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:18 PM

pff, that's only because you know that your plan to use the monkeys has been stopped. Jaymee would never fight against me, her greatest fan of all time. This you know.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:20 PM

Your not her greatest fan of all time. I am. She even told me herself that she considered me as her greatest fan of all time.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:21 PM

She told me that the only reason she told you that is because she felt sorry for you. She then proceeded to profess her eternal love for me.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:23 PM

Oh wait, are we talking about that dream you had? Because I was talking about real life where she told me while we were on a date. We wanted to invite you to our wedding, but now I think It'll just be awkward and all...

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:24 PM

Nonsense. We both know that you are speaking of the blowup doll that you made. I speak of the true Jaymee Ong.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:25 PM

No, I speak of the real Jaymee Ong.

I learned that making love to blow up dolls are not as advertised... a little Norm McDonald classic there for ya.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:26 PM

Norm Shmorm. Kevin Nealon was the greatest WU'er ever.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:27 PM

Never heard of him...

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:28 PM

Say what? You're fuggin' kiddin' me.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 10:29 PM

I've never heard of him...

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 08:40 AM

As far as the monkies go, I will lock them in a trailer and start a syndicated tv game show where contestants get thrown into trailer and are beaten by the monkies. There will by no point to this game other than my own amusement. I will call this game Pummled by Monkies.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 12:34 PM

Ha, you've eliminated your only chance for survival! HAHAHA!

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 08:07 AM

My gang would prevail over such evilness. Since my gang is vulnerable to such a nekkid women attack, we will instead strike down their leader, narzack (who hopefully will remain fully clothed). Then I will welcome the hot nekkid chicks into my own gang and we will rule the world. muha ha ha ha!!

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 12:34 AM

Or...

We could just play a whole bunch of video games until the wee hours of the night-- the last man (or woman, or Fallopian Hate) standing wins all.

Except that if the monkeys won, I wouldn't know what we'd do then.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 01:23 PM

Clearly, we'd eat the monkeys

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 12:35 AM

What are you talking about? There's no question that I would be the victor in that contest.

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 12:43 AM

I dunno. You have the will, but have you the bladder?

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Comment posted on September 19th, 2003 at 12:46 AM

I will forsake food and drink.

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