Good question. Who can I trust?

I'm having trouble sleeping for the first time in months. And it all stems from a conversation with one girl. I know she probably reads this. And I know that she is aware that this hurts, but I'm not sure if she knows just how far that knifre pierced.

I feel betrayed, and in a bizarre, way, decieved. When I first heard, my stomach dropped, and my body began to burn. It was not right. I can't justify or explain how this makes me feel. All I can do is try to make sense of it. It felt like I was being phased out of someone's life, that's what it felt like. The closest way that I can describe it is a grid. We're both moving in the same direction, side by side. But tonight, I moved forward, and she moved diagonally. We're now separated by a box, and that's not how it should be.

Why am I making such a big deal of this? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. It just sickens me, and I fear it. A fear that saps my joy and robs me of the simpe act of sleep.

Can I still depend on her? This hypocrisy stings. I do it for her, why can't she do it for me? Suddenly, I'm stumbling in a black room.

Just tell me why.