October 13, 2004
Who Am I?
Like I said, I'm in the wrong manifold. What is the manifold? It's the entire set of all possible universes. If there is a possible universe, maybe one in which all of the laws of physics are reversed, then it exists. If it is possible, then it exists. For every possible choice, there exists an entire universe. Makes sense? So, there are an infinite number of universes out there, each entirely sufficient and separate from each other.
And I'm in the wrong one.
I don't belong here. I've never felt like I belonged. I've always felt unwelcome, no matter where I was. I've never felt at home. So something is wrong. Some choice was made, some action effected which had a result which was contrary to what was supposed to happen. For a long time, I've kept this feeling at bay, but no longer.
When I was much younger, I should have died. By all logical accounts and witness, there was nothing that should have kept me alive. But I survived. I wasn't supposed to. I should have died that day so long ago.
That explains the terrible dreams I have five nights out of seven. That explains why I'm haunted, why the white faces stalk me. That's why I'm so broken inside. That's why I'm so tormented.
I don't belong here. And I don't know what to do.
And I'm in the wrong one.
I don't belong here. I've never felt like I belonged. I've always felt unwelcome, no matter where I was. I've never felt at home. So something is wrong. Some choice was made, some action effected which had a result which was contrary to what was supposed to happen. For a long time, I've kept this feeling at bay, but no longer.
When I was much younger, I should have died. By all logical accounts and witness, there was nothing that should have kept me alive. But I survived. I wasn't supposed to. I should have died that day so long ago.
That explains the terrible dreams I have five nights out of seven. That explains why I'm haunted, why the white faces stalk me. That's why I'm so broken inside. That's why I'm so tormented.
I don't belong here. And I don't know what to do.
Posted by Narzack on October 13, 2004 at 10:04 PM | 14 Dropkicked
neverclere
MacDaddyTatsu (guest)
shuffdog (guest)
as for what to do?
i dunno, help people get home.
littlemyers67
Anonymous (guest)
Just my thoughts :)
LitandLeftBurnin

Matto
And, you know, there's not that many of you, and you're some of the only people I'm ever actually, truly comfortable around.... So you might not feel like you belong here, man, but I'm sure as hell glad you're around.
JBird

What of it? Will you whither away your only existence, bemoaning the loss? There is plenty to love, in this life but especially the next.
Anyone who reaches a point in life where they can say "Ah, this is where I belong" is either a fool, hopelessly lost, or both. Because the feeling is only for a moment. Were we made for a moment? For that one instant where we felt like we belonged? Do any of us really belong here?
Anonymous (guest)
Anonymous (guest)
Narzack

MacDaddyTatsu (guest)
JBird
I believe that one day you will be great, if life doesn't destroy you first. But what is the greatness of this world worth? Conquer the world for a season, and the season will pass. Just as the pain of today, future's fortune will fade away.