One hundred entries in my Tabbies. This means one of two things. Either I have a lot to say, or I am the biggest loser of all history. For the sake of my self-esteem, I’m gonna go with the first one. So, I decided that I will take this opportunity to reflect on recent events in my life. Why? Because I can. Shut up.

(Go on)

Why? Because they had to show Blade, thus delaying me further from writing my frickin paper.

Friggin finally finished my paper. Not my best work, but I'm just glad to be done with it.

Come get some.



You are burning


What Self-Mutilation Are You?
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So, those who know me, know that I'm going to become a director. That's what I want to do, and nothing more. My desire to make movies will drive me to completion. I want it so bad, there is nothing I want more, nothing at all. And it will happen. It will indeed.

To further that end, I signed up today for courses with the Pittsburgh Filmmakers. If I get in, that would friggin' rock. My journey would begin and no force on Earth would be able to stop me. Get some.

There are 130 available seats. I'm 90 on the list. This had better work.

Thanks to Erin D. for telling me about it! If not for her, I would have no clue of this great opportunity. Erin rules. So, when you all see my first movie, you have her to thank.

Yeah, I'll be in Boston till Sunday. Don't wait up for me.

Yeah, there goes that idea.

Challengeru! BENDERU!!!!

Mors


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Who are you? No one would even know your name or
who you are. No one may even know what you
really look like. You would be known by a
series of names since you would go under many
aliases and have a number of disguises. You are
very clever and creative, and would almost
always be one step ahead of the authorities.
You would make sure no evidence of your
horrible murders would be left behind, and if
it is, no one would know it was you. You
sneaky, elusive person...authorities would have
hard time trying to catch you. You would
definitely be the mystery criminal. People may
not even know the your killings are all from
you. You would really be a threat to the
public.


What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As?
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Your Heart is Black


What Color is Your Heart?
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Alright, score.

. . . . . .

Aw, dammit. I really wasn't thinking when I wrote that last entry.

I'm sorry, Tatsu.

I just checked my BF stats. Yeah, that's right. Top 14%

I used to think that I wasn't easily angered. I used to think that it would take alot to set me off. But, I examine myself, and I find that it's sickeningly easy for me to lose control. A mere look can throw me into a mindtearing rage. I used to think that it was funny, hilarious even, to allow myself to be provoked to a fury.

Now, as I think about it, it's not that good. I don't want to go too far anymore. Damn my anger. Damn my rage. Damn my hate.

Damn, I look good.


But that's not important. Ok, maybe just a little.

Actually, I'm not sure where I was going with the begining of this entry. So, I think I'm going to stray.

I'm not gaming nearly as much as I used to. What's up with that?

Am I losing it?

Those who know me know that I usually am a man of strong opinions. Generally, I speak my mind, often bluntly and without thinking. This has, at times caused me grief.

I really don't like to be wrong. If I think I'm wrong, I'll usually argue and try to figure out a way to turn it into a victory. Not this time. I wrote an entry the other day, trying to expose flaws in a drug study.

I didn't bloody think! I didn't think about what sort of effect my words could have. I didn't bloody think that for once, I was wrong. Maybe someone else was right this time, even though I thought it was stupid.

Sometimes I hate myself. I have since taken down that entry and marked it as private. I am ashamed, and once again apologize to anyone that I hurt with my words.

Sometimes I wonder if I make up half of my crises. I think my entire life is one gigundous lie. That would suck.

I just realized how much ass I kick. I rock so hard.

You've gotta be friggin' kidding me.



You are Form 2, Angel: The Pure.

"And The Angel rose as holy protector for
all that was created. She fought with honor
and valor to serve the good of the world. But
the coming of the mankind was her downfall; and
end to purity."

Some examples of the Angel Form are Michael
(Christian) and Hercules (Greek).
The Angel is associated with the concept of virtue,
the number 2, and the element of wind.
Her sign is the zenith sun.

As a member of Form 2, you are a person of your
word. You generally keep your promises and
give everything you do your best. Although
some people see you as overbearing sometimes,
you know that you have to stay true to yourself
and do what's right. Angels are the best
friends to have because they are brutally
honest.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
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Well, first off, I woke up.

. . . . . .



. . . . . . .











That's about it.

I saw House of the Dead last night. It was great. Now, there are about three people on the planet who would like that movie. And it just so happened that all three of us were there. It was just so corny, and funny, and goofy, that I couldn't help but love it. A fun -filled romp through a zombie infested island. So much fun.

Argh! It's all the drama.

Where am I going to get five thousand dollars?

Suddenly, once again, I'm faced with that hellilsh decision. How easy it would be to just embrace the hate. I'm torn. A past destroys a future. A future erases a past. Staring down the barrel of a gun, what is the choice? There will be anguish either way. The final question: How far will you go to avoid hurting someone?

I guess I'm about to find out just how far I'm willing to go. If at all.

All in all, it was a pretty poor excuse for a good night.

I just sneezed. I really want to sneeze again, but I can't do it. I can feel my nostrils tingling and I just need to let it out, but I bloody can't do it.

Well, now it's gone. For good or ill, I can't sneeze. Cripes.

But anyhoo, The Incredible Hulk is on. I think I shall bask in its old school greatness.

Holy mother, who do I know in Virginia?

I wonder if I've made the worst mistake possible?

I'm in love with this notion of hate. So willing to burn, so ready to scream.

She thinks this is easy for me. She thinks I do this for another, but I do it for me. I wish I could make things the way they were. But I've done too much, gone too far, loved too little.

Nikki and I had been through some real bad stuff. She'd been there for me through all of it. She had my dreamgirl hair. But, there's always been Something Wrong with me. My eventual destruction. White faces in the night. They will come back. This time, I won't have anyone to make them go away. No more warm beds, no more soft touches. The only kiss left for me is that of Judas.

The bottom line? I'd be better off with her. She'd be better off without me.

It's never easy.

So, there I was just about ready to take a whiz, when I look into the urinal into which I'm about to spray my waste. And there is nasty yellow remains. This got me thinking. Is it really that hard to flush a urinal? No, it's not. Even if you're all tired and wasted, you can still lean on the handle for support, and the bloody thing will flush.

Lazy bastards.

It was Wednesday. My friend TJ and I were down in the Student Union, which sucks balls. But anyway, there was a huge bloody line to get any food. So, we stepped into the game room in hopes of a quick round of Soul Caliber 2. What greeted my gamer eyes was a vision of Nirvana untold in all the ages. Yes, that is correct. I came face to face with the glory that is- House of the Dead 3.

I'll save you all of the details, but suffice to say, I fell asleep more than once.

In other news, I've come to another conclusion. I'm bloody tired of walking down the street, and seeing what I think is a fine lady, only to be stricken with dismay and revulsion when she turns out to be nasty or, even worse, a man. I propose this.

If you look sexy from behind, but are either ugly or a dude, you should wear a sign.

"I'm not hot."
Or
"I'm a dude"

This would save myself and many others gallons of vomit.

Although, I don't know what I'm gonna do with all this extra spew.